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كيف تصبح مثقفا
How to Become a Sophisticated Adult
Do you want to be more sophisticated? Here's how.

[edit] StepsBe polite and charming. Being polite and charming is mostly about being aware of your companions and their feelings. Is your dinner companion an avid golfer? Then let him/her discuss golf. Express an interest in the subject. Respond intelligently with whatever knowledge you may have that relates. If you know nothing about golf, let them talk. Human beings like to talk; the best conversationalists let others talk and keep the conversation moving with leading questions and the occasional meaningful, insightful, or witty comment. A leading question is one that "leads" your conversation partner to speak at more length than a simple yes or no answer. Never interrupt and never forcefully assert your knowledge. Being selflessly aware of your companions' interests can give the impression of charm.
Understand etiquette. Etiquette is a system of manners and customs that each individual culture devises. The main purpose of etiquette in most modern cultures is to make those around you more comfortable or at ease. Be careful, however, because etiquette is different in each culture. It's important to study the rules of etiquette that your culture/society has adopted. There are plenty of online resources for that type of research. Use them. Study what is appropriate at various types of social functions, not just at the dinner table. And, when in doubt, ask yourself "What will make my companions more comfortable--behavior A or behavior B?"
Dress well. It's important to know what colors and what clothing styles suit you. By reading fashion magazines, you can get a better understanding of current trends but be wary of being too trendy--you can go broke keeping up with this season's latest. It's better to build your wardrobe on a solid foundation of classics that don't change much from season to season but that can easily be accessorized to keep them current. Do your research and find out what doesn't change much but also works for your personal style and body type. Get the advice of a professional if you don't know.
Know what you're talking about. It's important to be as knowledgeable about as broad a range of subjects as you can be. Read! Read everything, from newspapers to non-fiction books to magazines to scientific journals to literature. Being actually knowledgeable about a subject keeps you from appearing like that know-it-all buffoon who talks too much at parties and doesn't really know much about anything. You know who I mean. You've seen him/her before. Avoid that by actually being knowledgeable and by not speaking up when you don't know anything. Abraham Lincoln once said, "Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." If you want more specific direction, read up on your friends' interests. At least you'll be able to listen intelligently.
Do you feel overwhelmed by the amount of material that one can read? Start with newspapers. Find a good national or local paper ,preferably one that covers international events. Good magazines like TIME are easy to read and entertaining. If you can't subscribe to a newspaper www.nytimes.com is a good place to start. Here's a secret to coming across as well read - read abridged ( shortened) versions of classics or read book reviews. Book reviews give you enough information to carry on conversations about famous or award winning authors. Find a category of fiction (not romance but historical, sci-fi,classics,etc.) you like and read up at the local library. If the size of books frighten you, read up short stories. Some of the best writers wrote stories a few pages long. I recommend O'Henry very strongly. Don't forget about poetry - start with a poet whose work you studied at school and go on from there. And one more final advice- if you are truly desperate and absolutely can't read the book- see a movie version of it!
Be respectful. First, it's important to respect yourself. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to appreciate your strengths and forgive your weaknesses while improving those that you can. From this base, you'll have the sensitivity and confidence to be respectful of others' feelings and needs.


البرمجة اللغوية العصبية
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is an approach to psychotherapy and a "model of interpersonal communications"[1] based on the subjective study of language, communication and change. It was co-founded by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s as a method of personal development. They developed a set of practices and techniques based on modeling successful psychotherapists of the time. However, its application was not limited to psychotherapy, rather they attended to the patterns of interpersonal communications that could be applied generally. Its theoretical foundations borrowed from a range of disciplines, including various psychological fields, linguistics, cognitive science and occupational therapy. NLP and its many variants are taught through seminars, workshops, books and audio programs. The field is loosely spread and resistant to a single comprehensive definition. There is also a great deal of difference between the depth and breadth of training and standards.

An important assumption of NLP is that emotion, thought and behavior consists of, and is influenced by, how the sensory-specific modalities (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory) are organized and give rise to consciousness.[2] Further, the mode and limits to the underlying mental representations is revealed by unconscious choice of words, sensory-specific predicates (eg. visual language) and non-verbal cues (such as intonation; gesture; posture; facial expression and eye movements). A basic method in NLP involves asking specifying questions to help clarify the intended message in communication. It seeks to recover what has been left out and to reframe faulty thinking when the communication is distorted or over-generalised. These meta-model questions are often combined with suggestions for personal growth and potential.[3] Another technique seeks to alter sensory-specific submodalities (eg. brightness, size or location of visual imagery or sensory representations) to affect the intensity of mental states and affect changes in behavior. A classic format has people anchor resourceful mind-body states (eg. creativity, confidence, etc.) to make them available in situations where a person wants to act differently. Generally, the intent of NLP is to increase choice in the underlying representations so that the individual has more choice and flexibility in the world.

In the early 1980s, NLP was heralded as a important advance in psychotherapy and counseling.[4] Reviews of research in counseling psychology at this time found little empirical support for NLP assumptions or effectiveness in the literature, in particular the claim that matching sensory predicates improves rapport and influence.[5][6] The lack of support in the literature reviews marked a significant decrease in research interest.[7] There has been some ongoing research efforts and pleas for further empirical research.[citation needed] The developers of NLP tend to use analogies to understand and describe their models and tend to rely on intuition, anecdotes and personal experience as evidence as opposed to experimental research. NLP and its related techniques continue to be popular in books and workshops, especially in some areas of psychotherapy, management training, self-help, education and motivational training. NLP is criticized by some evidence based psychologists as a form of New Age psychotherapy that has little, if any, empirical support.[8][9][4]



محاكمة المشاهير
Do Celebrities Get Fair Trials?
Most Americans think celebrities get special treatment in the nation's legal system, but they also believe Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant and Martha Stewart will get fair trials, an Associated Press poll on celebrity justice found.

Blacks were less confident than whites that Jackson and Bryant will be treated impartially.

Nearly half the people surveyed said they think Stewart will be convicted, while far fewer believe Jackson and Bryant will be found guilty, according to the poll conducted for the AP by Ipsos-Public Affairs.

Jackson faces charges that he molested a child. Bryant faces ***ual assault charges in Colorado. Stewart is charged with lying about the sale of stock.

Some 60 percent of people surveyed said celebrities get treated better by the judicial system because they have a lot of money, while 12 percent think they are singled out for prosecution because they are high-profile. Only one-quarter of the public thought celebrities are treated like ordinary citizens.

"They definitely get special treatment," said Jake Minsinger, a 37-year-old welder from Hanover, Pa. "Usually, they're all out on bail. When they show up in court they're well dressed. And instead of a public defender, they have a team of the most expensive lawyers in the country."

Some said they think celebrities have it tougher in the courts.

"I think they get special punishment because they have money and people are jealous of them," said Ruth Gearin, a retiree from Milwaukee. "When they're up, people want to bring them down."

Most in the AP-Ipsos poll were aware of the three high-profile cases. But only one-fifth said they were closely following each of the trials.

Blacks were twice as likely as whites to be paying close attention to the cases against Jackson and Bryant, both of whom are black.

By a 2-to-1 margin, people said they thought the pop star would get a fair trial, and by a 3-to-1 margin they thought the Los Angeles Lakers basketball star and Stewart would get fair trials.

But there were sharp differences between whites and blacks on the question of whether Jackson and Bryant would or would not get fair trials.

Whites thought Jackson would get a fair trial by a 60-30 margin; blacks thought he would not by a 49-38 margin. Whites thought Bryant would get a fair trial by a 76-18 margin. Blacks were more divided; 54 percent said he would get a fair trial and 43 percent said he would not.

The differences in views recall the O.J. Simpson murder trial. The football Hall of Famer was tried and acquitted of the 1994 slayings of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and a friend, Ronald Goldman. A civil jury later held him liable and ordered him to pay the victims' survivors $33.5 million.

The AP-Ipsos poll found 77 percent believe Simpson was guilty. When broken down along racial lines, 82 percent of whites thought he was the killer while only 35 percent of blacks felt that he was the killer. Similar differences in attitudes between whites and blacks were evident at the time of the verdict.

While most in the poll were familiar with the three current cases, many were not that familiar with their details. Still, they had opinions about the outcome.

By a 2-to-1 margin, people thought Jackson would be acquitted, and by a slightly larger margin, they thought Bryant would be acquitted. By 48 percent to 35 percent, people thought Stewart would be convicted.

"I don't think she's very well liked, people probably go harder on her," said Kim Beach, a 39-year-old mother from Roseville, Calif. "She does these things no women can do, and then she says 'Oh, it's just so simple,' and you say, 'No way."'

Even if the three celebrities are convicted, the vast majority of Americans say they will continue watching them and buying their products, the survey found.

The AP-Ipsos poll of 1,000 adults was taken Jan. 9-11 and has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points .